Kristen Robinson

The Path Less Taken

As I sit by the window this morning curled up in the comfy chair I find solace in the cool breeze that is drifting in; billows of air do not raise the curtains from their resting place but rather whisper against them softly. One lone solar lantern (hanging on the tree outside) is slowly dimming as the night sky passes and daylight whispers. It is in this moment I find it time to write, time to share again to break the quiet I chose to put into place this summer. 

For the last 3 months I did something I felt was rather brave and much needed....I shuttered my blog and stepped back from social media. Saying it was freeing beyond words is not only an understatement but also fails to relay the feelings it produced within me. While I know there are many who have done this in the past - unplugged if you will, I have always been full of trepidation when it came to the idea of shuttering things for a while. The fear of being forgotten or becoming lost in the sea of remember her overwhelmed me at times; I became very good at convincing myself that if I took a real break I would become lost and only a memory. Opportunities would cease and I would stall, slowly I would come to a halt in the creative world.

After returning from teaching at the start of June I felt filled and renewed. My confidence was in place it was time to leap. The biggest challenge I battled internally was whether I should publically announce my break or just DO IT. I chose the latter - no one needed to hear me lament this choice (or read about it for that matter). I did not publically need to bow out for a bit, as my reasons for doing so were far deeper than I felt comfortable sharing. I can promise you I will share more of this but for now I am allowing myself to find my comfy place again, to re-establish my goals and honor the nature of creating and writing.

Making this decision was small compared to the things that go on in our world with those we know and those we do not. However, I can say without a doubt it was one of the BEST and BIGGEST things I have done in a while. There were no moments this summer of saying goodbye to the Not so Little Man and then succumbing to immense guilt has my plane took its place amongst the clouds. The alarm clock did not rattle me awake hours before the rest of the house had to rise, and perhaps the best thing of all we did what we wanted to do, we played, we hiked, and we talked, watched movies in the yard, ate when hungry and just had a good old-fashioned summer!

I found the fun me again, the one who has the ability to balance life and work, the one who loves to be outside exploring the world. The girl who found every moment to be an adventure is back and I have to say I could not be happier or more thrilled. Falling out for a bit was one of the best things I have done in a long time as I have landed back on my feet with joy in my heart and a renewed purpose.

 

Explore Mixed Media Collage

I am almost to the point where I can hardly stand the wait! My new book with Ruthie will hit the stands in less than 60 days. While I have been over the moon with my other publications I have to say I am perhaps most excited about this one. 

Explore Mixed Media Collage is really a return to my roots as an Artist. It is the foundation for which all things began for me. As some of you know major in college was art (and yes I am ecstatic every day that I get to do what my degree is in) - and each and every day of school I felt such an incredible drive to create. Perhaps part of it was my age and the atmosphere University has; I think it was a mix of all things wonderful.

Like many of us that drive became interrupted at times when real life popped in. Corporate America, weddings, babies and family all happened boom boom boom; my creative life was reduced to creating corporate ads and writing in an art journal (which was pretty blank at times). It wasn't until 8 years ago that I began creating and writing full time; what an incredible blessing for sure.

While each day is full of creative opportunities and inspiration there is also the reality that often times the time needed to do this is not an option - there are days that must be devoted to business obligations and emails. That said, it was during the creating process of this new book that I became afraid. Afraid that perhaps I was not good enough to do this book; I allowed the little echo of fear to linger a bit longer than it should have. 

I did everything I could to snap out of this, I doodled, I pulled out my college art journals I prayed. Nothing was working. I was allowing fear and my own expectations (which at times are rather unrealistic) to bog me down. What snapped me out of it? My darling Aussie friend was visiting and while I embraced this as an excuse to put off studio time for a few more days she saw it as an opportunity to remind me of my roots and pull me out of the fear closet I'd locked myself in.

A few simple words from her "do what you love to do, not what you think others expect you to do" knocked some sense into me. after a few tears and deep breaths I thought about this. I pulled things from drawers and stacks int he studio and I started to trust myself.

"Do what I love" um, okay that was easy right...when had I lost sight of this? When had I allowed static to enter into my thoughts? When I had I become more concerned about what others thought of me rather than what I thought about myself? When had I allowed negativity to start winning? Of course I journaled like a mad woman, I dug deep and pulled out the ick and replaced it with a willingness to conquer this fear with baby steps. The baby steps soon turned into leaps. Leaps of desire and urgency.

I share this with you because I feel it is important to reaffirm we are all vulnerable and vulnerability is not something we should ever be ashamed of. This situation would have been the perfect opportunity to orchestrate self sabotage and give in to a fear I had not felt at this level for years. Those heartfelt words from Jen worked their magic, almost as if I had been doused with cold water. My wake up call had arrived and I went to work. That day three pieces flowed from me, three pieces that are now part of this wonderful collaboration with Ruth.

I cannot wait to share this book with the world, it represents so much to me as an Artist, an instructor and as a person hoping to inspire others to embrace the creativity that lives inside all of us! Life is AMAZING we are all given so much it often takes another to remind us to BE TRUE to ourselves rather than focusing on others thoughts. Now I am off to create!

Simplicity and Perfectionism

We all experience moments in our life where we arrive at a crossroad. In these times we often take the simple path; the path that might seem a bit more approachable and steady. I have arrived at one of those moments - which way do I go? Do I stay the path I have been following for so long and worked so hard to be on or perhaps change things up a bit? 

In this process of laying out my plan more than a bit of soul searching has begun. I have come to realize something, or perhaps admit is a better term. I am a perfectionist. While I have always been fine with this label I have never truly admitted to myself what it means. In reality I have always been a bit prideful in it, happy that I strive to make everything perfect. 

I can honestly say I am scared to death to write the following words. In this process I am taking my protective coat off, opening my heart and sharing with you a few things that perfectionism creates within me in hopes that in some way this might help some of you that are sowing the same seeds.

-In my perfectionism I  push myself to limits that are truly unattainable or so stressful that I do not enjoy the fruits of my labor

-When I do not create the perfect piece, write the perfect book or pen the perfect article I feel as though I have let down the entire world

-When I feel I do not appear put together in a perfect way (clothes, hair, makeup) I wish I could hide

-When the house is not perfectly clean I feel like the worst Wife/Mother in the world.

-If I am moving slower than the person next to me I am not moving fast enough (literally and figuratively)

-I allow criticism (of the non constructive variety) to affect me so deeply it can debilitate me

In sharing this with you I am giving myself permission to embrace the imperfections and cherish all of the simple moments. I am saying out loud that striving for perfectionism is in itself an oxymoron as it does not exist. I am committing myself to be true to me, nurture me and embrace the me that I am as it will make me a better wife and a better mother. 

I am committed to living the words that I share with my husband, my son, my family, my students and my friends "there are no mistakes only opportunities". In so many ways I know working on this will allow me to be a better person and embrace the gifts in a new light that I have been given to share with others. However, above all I am sharing this in the hopes that perhaps you will give yourself permission to be a little less perfect than you believe you should be and embrace what is!