Simplicity and Perfectionism

We all experience moments in our life where we arrive at a crossroad. In these times we often take the simple path; the path that might seem a bit more approachable and steady. I have arrived at one of those moments - which way do I go? Do I stay the path I have been following for so long and worked so hard to be on or perhaps change things up a bit? 

In this process of laying out my plan more than a bit of soul searching has begun. I have come to realize something, or perhaps admit is a better term. I am a perfectionist. While I have always been fine with this label I have never truly admitted to myself what it means. In reality I have always been a bit prideful in it, happy that I strive to make everything perfect. 

I can honestly say I am scared to death to write the following words. In this process I am taking my protective coat off, opening my heart and sharing with you a few things that perfectionism creates within me in hopes that in some way this might help some of you that are sowing the same seeds.

-In my perfectionism I  push myself to limits that are truly unattainable or so stressful that I do not enjoy the fruits of my labor

-When I do not create the perfect piece, write the perfect book or pen the perfect article I feel as though I have let down the entire world

-When I feel I do not appear put together in a perfect way (clothes, hair, makeup) I wish I could hide

-When the house is not perfectly clean I feel like the worst Wife/Mother in the world.

-If I am moving slower than the person next to me I am not moving fast enough (literally and figuratively)

-I allow criticism (of the non constructive variety) to affect me so deeply it can debilitate me

In sharing this with you I am giving myself permission to embrace the imperfections and cherish all of the simple moments. I am saying out loud that striving for perfectionism is in itself an oxymoron as it does not exist. I am committing myself to be true to me, nurture me and embrace the me that I am as it will make me a better wife and a better mother. 

I am committed to living the words that I share with my husband, my son, my family, my students and my friends "there are no mistakes only opportunities". In so many ways I know working on this will allow me to be a better person and embrace the gifts in a new light that I have been given to share with others. However, above all I am sharing this in the hopes that perhaps you will give yourself permission to be a little less perfect than you believe you should be and embrace what is!

 

Comments

[Mixed Media Michelle]

Thanks for sharing! Strong words indeed!! And you are NOT alone (although I am VERY good at ignoring housework!)

"be true to me" - that's all anyone, or even yourself, can ask!

[Joanne Thieme Huffman]

Well said!

[Kari McKnight Holbrook]

OH.MY.GOODNESS! How on earth did you read my mind? Truer words have never been felt so deeply! I know to the depths of your core how you feel- even the housework! Thanks for making me feel normal- Love ya more than ever now! Just want you to know, you are perfect-just as you are-even if you are howling and snorting in laughter at 3 am....

[Cindy]

Kristen, I can so relate to your words here. I can never slow down. Unfortunately my house misses my perfectionism streak - that is definitely the one place I am more relaxed. What a beautiful post - comforting to know I am not alone. :-)

[Nelda Johnson]

Thank you for putting this into words! I'm going to read this every day until it really sinks in and I start to change my ways.

[Jane LaFazio]

Be Brave
Be Kind
Be True
Be You.

I got a greeting card with this on the front and I think it says it all.
Be You! xoxoox

[jeanie]

Those of us who have danced the perfection dance know and understand completely every word you write -- and appreciate your courage and honesty in putting them out there. The first step to change is recognition. The second step is courage. You, my friend, are well on your way.

[Geri Lynn Jones]

God Bless you for the strength it took to open yourself up to others with this.....it had to be hard, and thank you for trusting us with your feelings. Having met you, I firmly believe you are a wonderful person and have the power within yourself and the courage to go forward. I wish you "wind beneath your wings" in your commitment to be "true to yourself". I will follow your journey and you have inspired me to start my own journey. Hugs, Geri Lynn

[Gypsy Threads]

You are a person who lives a life driven by passion and love. Not many can make that claim. You are perfect just the way you are. When you take stock of your journey you will see you did the best you knew how. It will all be okay.

[Sheila]

I totally understand. I remember those times in my life. Sometimes health forces you to abandon the "never good enough, but will never stop pushing myself until I succeed, excel & exceed" syndrome. Sometimes it's wisdom, sometimes it is hard knocks, and sometimes it's just realizing you're human. Good for you! (Once in awhile I feel it -trying- to creep up again, but only a minute & it happens less & less, & one day you wake up & realize you're cured from the torture of trying to be perfect). Sweet relief! You're right on track!

Many Blessings,
Sheila in Oregon