Simplicity and Perfectionism

We all experience moments in our life where we arrive at a crossroad. In these times we often take the simple path; the path that might seem a bit more approachable and steady. I have arrived at one of those moments - which way do I go? Do I stay the path I have been following for so long and worked so hard to be on or perhaps change things up a bit? 

In this process of laying out my plan more than a bit of soul searching has begun. I have come to realize something, or perhaps admit is a better term. I am a perfectionist. While I have always been fine with this label I have never truly admitted to myself what it means. In reality I have always been a bit prideful in it, happy that I strive to make everything perfect. 

I can honestly say I am scared to death to write the following words. In this process I am taking my protective coat off, opening my heart and sharing with you a few things that perfectionism creates within me in hopes that in some way this might help some of you that are sowing the same seeds.

-In my perfectionism I  push myself to limits that are truly unattainable or so stressful that I do not enjoy the fruits of my labor

-When I do not create the perfect piece, write the perfect book or pen the perfect article I feel as though I have let down the entire world

-When I feel I do not appear put together in a perfect way (clothes, hair, makeup) I wish I could hide

-When the house is not perfectly clean I feel like the worst Wife/Mother in the world.

-If I am moving slower than the person next to me I am not moving fast enough (literally and figuratively)

-I allow criticism (of the non constructive variety) to affect me so deeply it can debilitate me

In sharing this with you I am giving myself permission to embrace the imperfections and cherish all of the simple moments. I am saying out loud that striving for perfectionism is in itself an oxymoron as it does not exist. I am committing myself to be true to me, nurture me and embrace the me that I am as it will make me a better wife and a better mother. 

I am committed to living the words that I share with my husband, my son, my family, my students and my friends "there are no mistakes only opportunities". In so many ways I know working on this will allow me to be a better person and embrace the gifts in a new light that I have been given to share with others. However, above all I am sharing this in the hopes that perhaps you will give yourself permission to be a little less perfect than you believe you should be and embrace what is!

 

Comments

[Jani Howe]

Kristen, I wish we had another way in our language to express wanting things to be 'right'. I have always felt that the word 'perfectionist' is a claim to being as good as God. No one on this earth is perfect, we need to realize this, first of all. We strive to do things 1) just any old way, 2) good enough 3)really well or 4)AS GOOD AS IT IS POSSIBLE FOR US, BEING HUMAN, TO DO IT. Trying to be a 'perfectionist' is just running straight into failure. Why? Because someone out there in your audience is NOT GOING TO LIKE IT. So the first task is to realize you are not perfect, and in future, you will do things to the best of your ability. THEN you can be satisfied with your accomplishment.

[Carol La Valley]

You are loved!!