I am almost to the point where I can hardly stand the wait! My new book with Ruthie will hit the stands in less than 60 days. While I have been over the moon with my other publications I have to say I am perhaps most excited about this one.
Explore Mixed Media Collage is really a return to my roots as an Artist. It is the foundation for which all things began for me. As some of you know major in college was art (and yes I am ecstatic every day that I get to do what my degree is in) - and each and every day of school I felt such an incredible drive to create. Perhaps part of it was my age and the atmosphere University has; I think it was a mix of all things wonderful.
Like many of us that drive became interrupted at times when real life popped in. Corporate America, weddings, babies and family all happened boom boom boom; my creative life was reduced to creating corporate ads and writing in an art journal (which was pretty blank at times). It wasn't until 8 years ago that I began creating and writing full time; what an incredible blessing for sure.
While each day is full of creative opportunities and inspiration there is also the reality that often times the time needed to do this is not an option - there are days that must be devoted to business obligations and emails. That said, it was during the creating process of this new book that I became afraid. Afraid that perhaps I was not good enough to do this book; I allowed the little echo of fear to linger a bit longer than it should have.
I did everything I could to snap out of this, I doodled, I pulled out my college art journals I prayed. Nothing was working. I was allowing fear and my own expectations (which at times are rather unrealistic) to bog me down. What snapped me out of it? My darling Aussie friend was visiting and while I embraced this as an excuse to put off studio time for a few more days she saw it as an opportunity to remind me of my roots and pull me out of the fear closet I'd locked myself in.
A few simple words from her "do what you love to do, not what you think others expect you to do" knocked some sense into me. after a few tears and deep breaths I thought about this. I pulled things from drawers and stacks int he studio and I started to trust myself.
"Do what I love" um, okay that was easy right...when had I lost sight of this? When had I allowed static to enter into my thoughts? When I had I become more concerned about what others thought of me rather than what I thought about myself? When had I allowed negativity to start winning? Of course I journaled like a mad woman, I dug deep and pulled out the ick and replaced it with a willingness to conquer this fear with baby steps. The baby steps soon turned into leaps. Leaps of desire and urgency.
I share this with you because I feel it is important to reaffirm we are all vulnerable and vulnerability is not something we should ever be ashamed of. This situation would have been the perfect opportunity to orchestrate self sabotage and give in to a fear I had not felt at this level for years. Those heartfelt words from Jen worked their magic, almost as if I had been doused with cold water. My wake up call had arrived and I went to work. That day three pieces flowed from me, three pieces that are now part of this wonderful collaboration with Ruth.
I cannot wait to share this book with the world, it represents so much to me as an Artist, an instructor and as a person hoping to inspire others to embrace the creativity that lives inside all of us! Life is AMAZING we are all given so much it often takes another to remind us to BE TRUE to ourselves rather than focusing on others thoughts. Now I am off to create!