Yesterday was one of those days where I seemed to want to do nothing - nothing in the studio called to me and I found it hard to focus. I was locked in moments where I would've rather just dream the day away or perhaps knit, rather than actually work.
This mood started me thinking, wondering if you will how does one know what they are doing is exactly where they should be; of course there is the deep burning passion that resides in all of us to do what we most love however at times I cannot help but wonder if there is something bigger I am supposed to do, something more meaningful. It seems I am not alone in this wondering as there are countless books on the subject, guiding one to walk the path in which they were truly meant to walk. For me a book does not hold the answer, so I did as I generally do when confused about something I journal lists. So here is the course of thinking my mind rambled upon:
-Am I truly doing what I am supposed to do
-At the end of the day the most important thing is always the Little Man and My Love
-What am I supposed to do
-When is the BIG thing going to happen
-Oh My Gosh maybe this is as BIG as it is going to get
-Maybe I'll go look at blogs
-Bad idea don't look at blogs you'll only realize how much you are not blogging
-Okay hunker down and work
-I need an assistant
-No that won't work I'd worry things weren't getting done
-I am so lucky to do what I do
There you have it the list I created as I sat in my chair searching for an ephiphany and let me tell you it did not come - well it did not arrive during the list making. However, it did appear later on in the day when I received an email from the very lovely Sue Chesley, her words were not only the gentle reminder I needed but perhaps the motivator I was seeking.
You see, I am not sure we ever know, we just do and that becomes what is. Our paths wind and twis. At times they seem to move along at the same comfortable pace for months on end and really this is just fine because at the end of the day we can be proud that we trusted, we listened, we learned and we continued. So while my BIG thing might be small in the scheme of all that is, I cannot help but feel blessed, refreshed and ready to move forward.
Thank you Sue for your words that offered not only a reminder but a gentle nudge.